I'm not angry, Trevor. I'm disappointed. [Does that work coming from a tiny man who currently looks pathetic? He doesn't really care cause it's the truth.]
And if someone did, sure. Fine, you're doing someone a favor. But I can think of more productive shit you could be doing when there's someone we both know that really needs it.
As we established earlier, yes. Max. Who again, apologized. Just because you think that means nothing doesn't mean it actually does. I apologized when I fucked up, I was sincere about it, and I honestly think he was too.
The difference that I see is that he looks a lot more threatening than I do, and he can't fucking talk, so text seems like a cop out, but what the hell else was he supposed to do? Would you have hit me if I was taller, looked like some kind of monster to you?
[But at the very least, he acknowledged the other point, regardless of how frustrated he is, that's at least a win.]
Can't fucking do that as best you can if you get demoted, Trevor. And if you think that wouldn't change anything you're more of an idiot than I took you for.
If you murdered one of my inmates and made a lot of noise about killing me in the future, and had escaped consequence free to wander the halls after killing a load of others, yeah. I’d have taken you down too.
Could do it a lot fucking better if I were demoted, actually!
I think you hit him because that's what you think you're good at, monster hunting and needed to not feel useless, or helpless. Am I close? Cause I really think I am. And if that's the case, the murdering was just coincidental justification.
[Though now he thinks he knows how Vincent feels sometimes when trying to talk him through his problems.]
And that's where you're fucking wrong, because Blitz is like me, and you know what we do when people we care about are hurt, or they fuck up, or get into trouble?
[He's seen it a few times now from Blitz, and it's like looking in a mirror.]
We erase our own problems and focus on theirs. Take leaps and bounds backwards. And blame ourselves even when it really doesn't make any sense to. He's hurt enough already, give him the time to heal without having to worry about you. He's deserves that, and if you fuck that up for him, I'll beat the shit out of you myself.
Do you know the strength you need to do that? How little you have to think of the people you’re doing it to? They don’t become people to you anymore, they’re meat. Worse, they’re still living meat. It’s slow. Your flesh gets ruined, but you can do it without piercing any organs. If you’re lucky you bleed out.
He did that to so many fucking people and because he’s not going to do it any more, because it was a mistake and we’re supposed to follow the rules, no matter whether they’re right or moral or not, we need to bottle the anger and the rage of being meat to some other fucking entity for fear of demotion by ANOTHER fucking entity.
How can you stand by and let it happen to people you care about?
If somebody paid Blitz to murder a person and hang them on a hook, he'd do it. It's business, and don't tell me he wouldn't.
You're mad at something you can't touch, beings that exist in their own reality and can't even begin to comprehend anything they do on a human level, because they aren't human and never will be.
I don't just sit back and watch, Trevor. I do shit about it, I try and help people, because when fucked up shit happened to me, I fell right through the floor and no one was there to catch me.
I know what it's like to get ripped open by something you didnt even know existed, and all I can do is try to prevent that from happening to anyone else. Grudges are worthless, anger is fuel, use that doing something that matters rather than throwing a punch at the guy after the fact.
At least now you're starting to make some fucking sense.
[Hanna sighs, starting to feel rather tired himself. He hasn't said this much, expended this much energy since he'd died.]
No one would doubt you wouldn't, but that isn't the point. You think it feels good, knowing your friend who could get out but doesn't is trapped again? I was choking on smoke and still begging CK to leave Taylor the fuck alone, because she would kill him for me, I know she would.
[It's a free country, Trevor. Apparently being mad is great justification for doing what ever you want.
But one last thing...]
I'm sorry, by the way. That you have to play by the rules. There are a lot of things asked of people here that go against their nature, and if you'd been anywhere else it would be very likely no one would have stopped you even if you'd killed him. As much as I don't agree with that, I still get it.
Take care of you, and watch a stupid horse movie with Blitz, I dropped off a shit ton of them at his place the other day.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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If you want me to kick someone else’s ass, then fine. Ass kickings all around.
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[You can be tired all you want Trevor, he is going to keep on talking.]
Did anyone ask you to kick Max's ass or was that just to make you feel better about yourself?
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And if someone did, sure. Fine, you're doing someone a favor. But I can think of more productive shit you could be doing when there's someone we both know that really needs it.
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What the fuck. No?
Productive as in your fucking job? Blitz? He's falling apart and you pick now to go beat the shit out of an Inmate?
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Not any inmate. I beat the shit out of the guy who hangs people on hooks.
I’ll keep a closer eye on him
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The difference that I see is that he looks a lot more threatening than I do, and he can't fucking talk, so text seems like a cop out, but what the hell else was he supposed to do? Would you have hit me if I was taller, looked like some kind of monster to you?
[But at the very least, he acknowledged the other point, regardless of how frustrated he is, that's at least a win.]
Can't fucking do that as best you can if you get demoted, Trevor. And if you think that wouldn't change anything you're more of an idiot than I took you for.
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If you murdered one of my inmates and made a lot of noise about killing me in the future, and had escaped consequence free to wander the halls after killing a load of others, yeah. I’d have taken you down too.
Could do it a lot fucking better if I were demoted, actually!
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[Though now he thinks he knows how Vincent feels sometimes when trying to talk him through his problems.]
And that's where you're fucking wrong, because Blitz is like me, and you know what we do when people we care about are hurt, or they fuck up, or get into trouble?
[He's seen it a few times now from Blitz, and it's like looking in a mirror.]
We erase our own problems and focus on theirs. Take leaps and bounds backwards. And blame ourselves even when it really doesn't make any sense to. He's hurt enough already, give him the time to heal without having to worry about you. He's deserves that, and if you fuck that up for him, I'll beat the shit out of you myself.
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Do you know the strength you need to do that? How little you have to think of the people you’re doing it to? They don’t become people to you anymore, they’re meat. Worse, they’re still living meat. It’s slow. Your flesh gets ruined, but you can do it without piercing any organs. If you’re lucky you bleed out.
He did that to so many fucking people and because he’s not going to do it any more, because it was a mistake and we’re supposed to follow the rules, no matter whether they’re right or moral or not, we need to bottle the anger and the rage of being meat to some other fucking entity for fear of demotion by ANOTHER fucking entity.
How can you stand by and let it happen to people you care about?
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You're mad at something you can't touch, beings that exist in their own reality and can't even begin to comprehend anything they do on a human level, because they aren't human and never will be.
I don't just sit back and watch, Trevor. I do shit about it, I try and help people, because when fucked up shit happened to me, I fell right through the floor and no one was there to catch me.
I know what it's like to get ripped open by something you didnt even know existed, and all I can do is try to prevent that from happening to anyone else. Grudges are worthless, anger is fuel, use that doing something that matters rather than throwing a punch at the guy after the fact.
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And if Blitz did that, I'd be punching him too.
[he sounds beaten.]
Blitz knows that if I get demoted, I'm still looking out for him.
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[Hanna sighs, starting to feel rather tired himself. He hasn't said this much, expended this much energy since he'd died.]
No one would doubt you wouldn't, but that isn't the point. You think it feels good, knowing your friend who could get out but doesn't is trapped again? I was choking on smoke and still begging CK to leave Taylor the fuck alone, because she would kill him for me, I know she would.
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Doesn't matter now, can't put that back in its bottle.
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[That demon doesn't need more fucking shit piled on.]
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But one last thing...]
I'm sorry, by the way. That you have to play by the rules. There are a lot of things asked of people here that go against their nature, and if you'd been anywhere else it would be very likely no one would have stopped you even if you'd killed him. As much as I don't agree with that, I still get it.
Take care of you, and watch a stupid horse movie with Blitz, I dropped off a shit ton of them at his place the other day.
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[Anyways, that's it.] Thanks for not hanging up on me since I'm sure you really weren't in the mood for more bullshit. TTYL Trevor.
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Sure.
The fuck is a Silver Brumbly....
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[Hanna whispers before the feed shuts off, because he knows he would.]